Mark 8:31-38
"He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan! he said, "You do not have in mind the things of G-d, but the things of men." Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with holy angels."THOUGHTS:
I can't imagine how Jesus felt. I don't know at what point in his life he was made aware of the path that would be his or if he knew from the moment he left the womb. I want to believe that he got to experience being a child - that he didn't have to be a child and carry the weight of the world, but that the Father revealed to him in his humanness what was appropriate at appropriate times and stages of development. Of course, he knew was about the Father's business even when he was 12 and stayed behind in the Temple. But is one thing to know that you are completely devoted to the Father's business at 12 and completely another thing to know the suffering that was ahead. We don't hear much of his childhood and I want to believe that's because he had a pretty normal childhood and he didn't knowingly carry the weight of the world on his shoulders in that time.
No matter what, by this time he sat with his disciples and he knew full well what lie before him. He understood the necessity of it. "I must suffer and be rejected, killed and rise again." By the nature of things, this was necessary and unavoidable. Jesus would undergo an experience, a brutal, flesh-tearing experience of suffering on behalf of someone else...on behalf of humanity, each and every one of us. He would be disapproved, refused, rejected and killed. But beyond all that he would stand again! He knew the path before him and he willingly walked it.
Gotta love Peter! He's so passionate. His response is not one of "I'm sorry Lord I don't understand." He's bold and protective of the One he follows. He pulls him aside and rebukes him. Peter pulls Jesus aside and begins to berate him. This is abrupt. It's harsh and sharp. We don't know the words that Peter spoke but we know they were words of disapproval, words of censure. He didn't approve of this suffering path.
Jesus looks at his disciples in this moment with his deep love and has a revelation, one that I wonder if it hurt more than the pain that he knew was coming. He saw that his disciple didn't understand the things that must happen. That his disciple was in this moment was thinking like a man, instead of thinking towards G-d. But in love, Christ says "Get behind me, Satan." Peter stood in opposition to the plan of G-d. Peter wanted his agenda. He wanted Christ to triumph, to be the political Messiah they had waited for. He wanted what he wanted. There was still Peter's desire above G-d's desire.
If we desire to follow Christ, to be a true disciple, it's all in. In coming and following we must disown and remove ourselves and our desires. We must deny ourselves and take up our cross. This cross is the most dreadful and agonizing torture. There is nothing easy about this. We are to become less, so that he can become more. What I want, what I think must be laid down and we must seek first the Kingdom.
This is the eternal struggle --- dying to ourselves, so that others might live. Finding freedom so that we might free others. That is the path of discipleship. That is becoming like Christ. He died. He laid himself down, so that we could live.
There are so many ways that we are called each day to die to ourselves. I could write forever. But I won't. We must be able to say "Get behind me, Satan" to the opposition that lies within our heart and mind. Daily we must look in the mirror and push back the opposition, running towards the heart of G-d and his desire for us!
Oh G-d, there's so much in my life that tempts me to put me first. Lord, with all that I am I want to follow you, I want to die to myself. I don't want to be in opposition to you. I want to stand with you. So G-d today I will seek physical ways to give up what I think I need and to fill those spaces with your business. Today, may I die more fully to myself so that someone else might live today!
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