Joy Overcomes Sorrow

Truth: I have cried a great deal over the last three days. I have felt hopelessness. I have felt sorrow, a deep sorrow. In the middle of this hopelessness and sorrow, I know that G-d was right there with me and I know that God’s heart broke with mine. Just as my tears flowed, I know that Jesus wept.

Today, I decided that I would seek joy, that I would embrace the very people that are being rejected, that I would stand alongside them, in the midst of them and just breathe; being present to people. So I did two things:

1) I went to Paisley Park. This is Prince’s recording studio/sanctuary/home in Chanhassen, MN. When I walked in the gentleman at the door said to me, “Oh, you are going to love this. This is going to mean the world to you. I can see it in your eyes.” He continued to tell me that what he saw in my eyes was something different than any person that walked through that door today.  It was an utter joy and he could see that I knew I was walking on holy ground. It was holy ground because if Prince was nothing else, he was someone who knew who he was and embraced it as best he could, living a meaningful faith that he shared with the world. I cried a bit in this place, but not tears of sorrow. 

2) While I was in Minneapolis for meetings, it also happened to be Pride weekend. Today, I went to The Pride Festival. I did this alone. I took time to listen to people I did not know about their businesses, their stories, and their lives. I had the privilege of listening and the honor speaking words of love and encouragement (a drastic difference from the hate-filled sign holders standing on the outside). I spoke with LGBTQ persons of faith who have been harmed deeply by others and yet have not given up hope in Jesus. And I spoke with some who have been harmed deeply by others and blame Jesus.  I am certain that I walked through this festival with that same look of awe in my eyes as I did walking through the doors of Paisley Park.

Today I sought out holy ground, the ground that Jesus would have sought out had he been there. And it was there that I saw Jesus and it was there that joy overcame sorrow and hope began to silence hopelessness.

I do not have all the answers to the questions of life, but I know the answers, whatever they are, must be rooted in love, if they are to be valid.  We are called to love G-d with all we got and to love people...all people.  I just want to do that. I want to love passionately, unconditionally.  I want the world to know me and my G-d for love. Lord, help me love more deeply, care more passionately, and listen more intensely.  Open me up to your world that you so desperately love.  

Lost in Irrelevancy

The Church collective has lost its relevance.  

Before you go giving me a line of bull crap that sounds something like, "I'm not called to be relevant. I'm called to not be a part of the world,"  take a step back and consider the last time you gave any thought to something that did not directly impact you or something that you felt was irrelevant in your life.  You, like most humans, tuned it out because it was not relevant to the world you have created for yourself.  (I could write a blog post entirely about the ways in which we have abdicated our responsibilities because of our selfishness, but for now, I move on.)

Jesus was relevant when he positioned himself at a well and spoke with a woman that all religion at the time said he had no business speaking with (John 4:7-26).  Jesus was relevant when he followed a man to his home, touched his daughters hand and brought her back to life (Mark 5:35-42).  Jesus relevant when on the way to that home a woman reached out touched the hem of his garment finding a healing she had been missing for years (Matthew 9:20-22). Jesus' life and ministry was one of relevance.  His very coming was out of a choice to be relevant to the humanity he loved (John 3:16).  In fact, it was in his dwelling with us that he become all the more relevant, closely connected to us.  His final commission to his followers was to go and be relevant, to go and be love to the world, to heal, to listen, to share, to be closely connected. 

And yet, the Church collective has lost its relevance.  

We have chosen our rightness, our "truth," our own dependency on certainty over proximity and relevancy. We are like the Pharisees in the text and have shunned people who do not look like us or act like us.  We have told people they are less than ourselves because they do not live like we live.  We have withheld unconditional love for the sake of the Gospel...an act that actually forsakes the Gospel of Jesus, which is love and we have become irrelevant to the world. 

And again before you give me some bull crap that sounds something like, "I'm called to speak the truth in love," take a step back and consider the last time Jesus used those words with you.  Has he? I'm sure people saying they represent him have, but let me just say that Jesus' speaking the truth in love was his laying down his life, so that ALL would know his love.  His final words were tied directly to the task of being relevant, of loving people to the grave just as they are. He proclaimed "It is finished."  Mission complete.  UNCONDITIONAL LOVE POURED OUT FOR THE WORLD.  

Call me crazy. Tell me to shut up.  But all day long, I am going to be relevant to those around me and I long to be relevant to this world that is crying out for hope...for something to believe in...something that inspires, not chastises; that embraces, not defaces; that loves, not hates; that gives light, not darkness and that changes the world.  

Church, we can be that light. We can incarnate that love. We can embrace ALL, as they are. We can inspire hope! If we get over ourselves and become relevant to our world. 

Commander’s Intent

I was recently approached and asked about my faith.  The person inquiring was pondering how I

might really believe that there is this big plan out there, created by some G-d that violently and forcefully directs it all.  They wondered how I could live believing in a G-d that dictates my every move and is just looking for me to fail the plan, so I can be punished. I had a simple answer for him: I don't. 

That's not the G-d that I find in my sacred text. That's certainly not the G-d that I have found in my life experiences.  That is, however, the G-d that many a pastor or many an evangelical have propositioned to me, but it is not the G-d that I have faith in.  Let me explain and let me doing it using some Army doctrine and language that is helpful for all, not just Soldiers.  

In the Army, there have been a few different styles of command authority.  Each of these styles has a varying level of autonomy.  Autonomy can be summed up as the ability to self-govern or the freedom from external control.  Autonomy is the ability to not only have free will, but to exercise it in a way that is not just self-serving, but meets a common goal.  It's really what we should be raising our children to: to a place where they can function independently in the world and yet live within the community as a contributing member of that community.  They can make their own decisions after going through a decision-making process of some sort and they can execute the decisions, as well as bear the good and bad consequences of their decisions they have made. 

The style of command with the lowest level of autonomy is Command by Directive.  This style of command is slow and top-down leadership.  All decisions are made by upper leaders and those below take step-by-step instructions. This is strenuous not only on those being directed, but also on the commander.  This is the classic high control command environment. You're told when to eat, when to sleep, how to move, how to dress, what is right and what is wrong.  For season, in learning new rhythms and skills (like in basic training), this type of leadership has some necessity, but it is never the goal to stay in this realm of command.  

The next style of command has a little more freedom. Command by Plan is more supervisory.  The commander gives steps and contingencies. The person being commanded has some decision making abilities within the given plan.  There is a little more room for wiggle, but overall the plan is the plan.  Again, this style of command has its place in leadership. However, it does not offer full autonomy and still leaves a pretty heavy burden on the commander to make plans and details. It also allows for them to be upset when it doesn't happen as planned. 

These two styles of command line up pretty closely with the view of G-d that was presented by the gentleman questioning me about G-d.  However, human beings were created with free will. Part of what makes us unique is that we have the ability to make choices. The G-d that created humans does not commanded by directive or by a plan. G-d created with free will and with free will comes autonomy.  So let's look at the last command style: Command by Intent.  

Command by Intent is guided by goals, resources, and constraints given by the commander and it is the standard.  Decisions are made at the point of action, by the person doing the action. The Commander clearly defines their definition of success, detailing what constitutes success for the operation at hand.  The Commander gives the operation's purpose and the conditions that define the end state. So those under her, will know what success will look like when the job is complete.  They have freedom to make decisions that accomplish the Commander's Intent in the ways that they see fit.  

That's the G-d that I know and love.  There's a season that, I think, we all need to be commanded by directive and/or plan, but that's not G-d's end state.  G-d's command is by intent.  We shouldn't read Jeremiah 29:11 as a hard-fast "G-d's got a detailed plan for my life." "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is Command by Intent. G-d intends these things, but G-d didn't predetermine your every move.   Even Adam and Eve were placed in the garden with Commander's Intent.  They were told the Commander's goals. They were given the resources and they were given one constraint.  They unfortunately, like us too many times, missed the Commander's Intent for success and blew through that constraint. 

One of the most beneficial ways I have found to view my holy text is to see it as my Commander's Intent.  The Bible is like an operations order that details the Commander's Intent giving full autonomy to all human beings to seek and find mission success within this life.

At the time of Jesus, the teachers of the Law were commanding by directive and by plan. They were putting forward an image of G-d that very much matched the question that sparked this post.  There was no autonomy. There was no mission command, just control and tight supervision.  Their frustration with Jesus was that he was functioning in a completely new way than what they had been taught.  He was presenting G-d as a G-d who commands by intent.  This was seen most clearly when these teachers came to Jesus and asked "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" Jesus response is the most succinct Commander's Intent there will ever be: "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our G-d, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your G-d with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." 

The beautiful thing about this imagery is that in the Army if you know the Commander' intent and you follow it and live for it, you can "get away" with a lot of stuff because it is in line with the Commander's Intent.  So how freeing it is to know the Commander of my faith's intent is simple - love G-d with all that I am and to love people (and myself) with that same passion.  G-d isn't a G-d who's dictating my life, but instead has a beautiful intent for it. I just get to lean into it, enjoy the ride and live with  no regrets. 

Why Chaplaincy?

Source: Unknown

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

John 15:9-13                

     

     I was recently given occasion to briefly answer a question -- "Why do you want to be an Army chaplain?" The following was my formal, written response: 

           

     My desire to enter the Army Chaplain Corps is rooted in three central principles that guide my life and shape my identity: family history and tradition, my call to ministry and my core belief to love   G-d and love others without reservation. 

     Growing up I was surrounded by veterans.  My dad and his brother served in the US Navy.  Their dad, a first generation American, served in the US Army before them.  In addition, my maternal grandfather served in the US Navy, as well as many others on that side of the family.  Today, I have nephews who serve or have served in the Navy and the Air Force.  I was blessed to marry a Navy veteran, who also has a rich family history of service to our nation.  These men have modeled to me the value of sacrifice and integrity; not only through their service, but in every aspect of their lives beyond the military.  Through them I learned of the honor it is to love others through military service. My grandfather’s inspiration and influence in my life did not stop at his military stories.  In fact, I do not even remember many because although he was a World War II Veteran, he died at 95 years old believing that he was not a hero.  He could not have been more wrong.  His time spent in service to our country shaped and molded him into the man that would eventually become my grandfather – my hero.  That man, more than any other person in my life, helped to form and nurture my call from the young age of five years old. 

     My call to ministry, like that of many, is a lifelong journey with steady, strong steps and even some quirky, little sidesteps.  Nevertheless, it is a story that has led me to respond affirmatively to the call of being a pastor.  Over the years, I have served in many different ministry contexts, to include anti-trafficking efforts, homeless shelters, street-level ministry, national speaking engagements and local congregations.  All of this was because of foundations that were laid in my life through my grandpa.  I want to reciprocate the love and sacrifice that I have seen by caring for and guiding people.

     As diverse as my ministry contexts have been, there have been two constants in each of them.  The first is that entering into each context was motivated by my deep desire to love  G-d with all that I am, and "to love my neighbor as myself" (Mark 12:30-31, NIV).  This is my core belief.  It is the commandment that Jesus said is above all else.  In the book of John, chapter 15, Jesus is recorded as saying “greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” 

     The second constant of my ministry experience is the presence of Veterans.  No matter the stage I was standing on, the kitchen I was serving food from or the rooms that I have washed feet in, Veterans were present.  Some simply present, listening for whatever reason brought them, but many suffering from loss or trauma that left them addicted, homeless, trafficked, or just needing someone they could trust.  G-d began to break my heart for Soldiers.  I was left asking myself, “Could you love, care for and serve these people who  daily lay down their lives for others? Would you being willing to follow their example and serve them?”

The answer to that question was easy and yet, I am certain the process is going to be one of the most difficult things in my life.  Regardless, I am confident that becoming an Army chaplain will be one of the greatest steps in my journey because it flows from my identity that is rooted in my family history and tradition, my call to ministry and my core belief to love G-d and love others without reservation.

     

Err In Love

SCRIPTURE:

1 Corinthians 8:1-9

Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up.  if anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God. Therefore, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that “an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.”  For all though there may be so called gods in heaven or on earth — as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”—yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through him we exist.  However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through former association with idols, eat food as really offered to an idol, and their conscience, being weak, is defiled.  Food will not committed us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.

THOUGHTS:

Yesterday, I sat with and meditated on Psalm 111.  I encourage you to go read it. It is a psalm that describes the splendor and majesty of the Lord. It tells of His graciousness, mercy, faithfulness and justice. It declares that the Lord is indeed holy and awesome because it is He who acts and initiates. It is He who reveals and illuminates. He calls and delivers and He directs and commissions and His love and covenant endure forever.

The text above are the words of Paul, written to one of his congregations, about the things that they know about G-d and of the ways that those things should inform their behaviors. Paul, right off the bat, admits that we all have knowledge. We all know what we know. We all have practices, doctrines, rules and ways in which we choose to live. That knowledge often times sets us apart in ways that G-d never intended us to be set apart. This is the “puffs up” that Paul speaks of.  Our perceived knowledge of G-d and His ways presents occasionally as "holier than thou." We imagine that what we know is the only good and right thing, forsaking all else as wrong. Paul gently reminds his readers that if we imagine that we know something, we must also acknowledge that we do not know all things and even that we could be wrong. But there is one thing according to Paul that we know for certain and that is that we are loved by G-d. Psalm 111 reminds us of this reality.

If there is one thing for certain about our holy and awesome G-d is that He has given all to prove and to show the depth of His love and grace for each and everyone of us. Think about it -- Jesus washed the feet, sat at the table with and extended unconditional love to the very disciple who would betray him (John 13). While Paul is talking about a specific issue of what to eat and what not to eat there are great truths that we can extrapolate from his words.

Not everyone understands the depth of the love of G-d for them. They may understand that and still fall in a different spectrum of belief than you. The walks of others will look different than yours. In fact, if we are honest with ourselves they may do some things right that we are doing wrong. But Paul’s encouragement tells us that we can trust what G-d has done in us and is doing through us. His love and empowerment is something that endures forever. Many of the things that we think matter towards our salvation, simply put, do not.

Paul, in talking about food sacrificed to idols, does not prohibit his readers from entering temples dedicated to idols. In fact, he says a little later in the text that when you are in the temple of idols remember to love.  Our faith in Jesus Christ is not to separate us or take us out of the world, but instead meant to guide us as we live life in this world.

Paul's direction is that we err on the side of love, not doctrine, not our knowledge, but instead love.  Paul's direction is to trust the love and grace that has been given to you extends beyond your imagination to others.  Give the love that you have been given.

ACTION:

How will you err on the side of love today? What "knowledge" do you need to set aside in order to love someone right where they are? In what ways do you need to humble yourself and love better?

PRAYER:

Gracious G-d, You alone are worthy.  You alone are holy and awesome.  Help us today to err in love. Help us today to choose to love the unlovable, to break bread with our enemies and our friends.  Help us to love more deeply.  Amen.

On Love, Nashville and Imperfect Words

I need to say something and I'm a bit fearful of the backlash, but fear is not of God, but a tool of the evil one to keep people silent. So here goes my imperfect words...

I spent 18 yrs under the thumb of the SBC and "evangelicals" as a child and never did they speak for me. They definitely never spoke up for me, instead only down to me, allowing atrocities to be perpetrated. They never affirmed anything in me other than my ability to be a sexual object. Overall, Paul's words concerning love were not modeled or lived, in fact the exact opposite was methodically manifested in far reaching ways and the results were physical, psychological and spiritual harm to many, including me. 

The word "evangelical" has been hijacked, warped and manipulated into something that other than sharing the good news of God's love. It's important to note that not all Christians agree with the #NashvilleStatement. I cannot stand with statements that do not reflect the uncontrollable love of Jesus.   I believe in a Jesus who calls followers to preach, teach, and live a #theologyoflove.  Jesus loves ALL! All are worthy to our loving God, not because of adherence to doctrines or ideologies, but simply because of God's grace and mercy. All have access to Jesus & God's love...just as we are! 

I don't have all the answers. I fumble through loving people every single day, but I know that it is my hearts desire to be love and light to all peoples and trust that Jesus, the Spirit and God are bigger than hatred, fear and anything we or they label as sin. And on the day I stand before Jesus, let me accused of loving too much! 

#thirdway #lovewins #BeLove #JudgeNotJustLove

Psalm 54

SCRIPTURE:

"Save me, O God, by your name; vindicate me by your might. Hear my prayer, O God; listen to the words of my mouth.  Arrogant foes are attacking me; ruthless people are trying to kill me--people without regard for God. Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. Let evil recoil on those who slander me; in your faithfulness destroy them. I will sacrifice a freewill offering to you; I will praise your name, Lord, for it is good. You have delivered me from all my troubles, and my eyes have looked in triumph on my foes."  

Psalm 54 

THOUGHTS: 

I struggle with passages like this because they speak curses over people and in our crazy world we justify them as righteous. Yet, they stand in stark contridiction to Jesus' "love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you." It wasn't until I began to admit that David (the author of this Psalm) was human just like me that I realized that David was simply writing from his heart, his experience, his story...from his brokenness, his imperfections. 

How many times have I cried out to God to save me? How many times have a questioned if He really hears my prayers? How many times have I felt as if the entire world is against me? How many times have I been slandered? How many times have I thrown people under the bus before God? They are so vast. I cannot count them.

David's words are human. They are sadly normal to the human condition.  They are the words that each and every one of us mumble when we are in pain or when being attacked. We all utter curses when we are uncomfortable, when we are being maligned, or when things aren't going our way.  I can identify with that and I can intellectually admit that David was lamenting and even word-vomiting to God, an ancient form of journaling to express his inward emotions - a coping mechanism for the drama of his life.  

What is true is that God does rescue from trouble. God is our help, but His help almost never comes in the way we expect or anticipate. He is faithful; even in our unfaithfulness. Jesus calls us to love our enemies. It's a high calling, but our enemies are also made in the very image of God. As we lament our enemies, it's completely possible that they lament their enemies (us) to the very same God and Creator. He is faithful to those who call upon His name.

ACTION:

Perhaps we should love and pray for our enemies, not to change, but to draw close to their Creator? Perhaps we should speak blessings and not curses? Perhaps becoming more like Jesus means we make space for our enemies at His table?  I fail at this often. I must try better. 

Same Old, Same Old

 

As a pastor, I always feel a pressure to do church the way it's always been done by the men before me. And I say men because in my ministry experience, it has been men before me. I wasn't raised in a tradition that affirmed women as equal, not in the home and certainly not in the Church.  Today, I find myself in a denomination that beautifully affirms the work of the Spirit in both women and men. Although there are always individuals who behave otherwise, I have found a home that embraces my call.  Anyways, I always feel the pressure to do church the way it's always been done, to stick within the box and behave as those before me.  This is true of every pastor. Every single one.

That pressure to remain the same dominates most conversations and meetings; however, if we continue to do church the way that it's always been done, then we will get the same results and with time those results will exacerbate and death is inevitable. I'm not necessarily talking about an individual church, although this is true of every body, including my own; but this morning I'm thinking Church universal. 

The Church has lost its prophetic voice. We have settled in fear and comfort-ability. The Church has lost its relevance (and yes, we are supposed to matter to the world); perhaps a better word is that the Church has lost its credibility because we have lost all authenticity. 

At the end of the day, 

I'm not called to the status quo. 

I am called to the mountain top 

     by way of valleys. 

I'm not called to just squeak by on the paths traversed before.

I am called to blaze trails as I run passionately after Jesus 

    and His children in this world. 

I am called to be a city on a hill shining brightly 

and we don't do that with the same old, same old 

because the same old, same old 

has not shined for years. 

It's wick has been extinguished. 

This world needs the Church...

to live out the freedom that we say we have in Christ. 

Our believe and our behave don't match 

because we are 

burdened, 

bogged down, 

bound in slavery 

to the past

be it in 

habits, 

rituals 

or debt. 

This world needs the Church...

to be 

authentically 

broken 

and 

transparently 

redeemed!

The Lights of Vegas

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." 

Matthew 5:14-16 

     The Light of the world has come. The Light, being the very Word, became flesh and dwelt among us, and yet that Light expected something of the very creation It came to shine upon.  The One who called light into existence, who placed the stars in the sky and brightened all of creation, calls Its recipients "the light of the world." This Original Light that illuminates is meant to be illuminated in each of us.  Jesus, the Light of the world has come and not only has He said, "whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life," (John 8:12) He has called us "the light of the world."  

We are the light of the world.  

We carry something that is undefinable 

                   and so indescribable. 

We cannot put words to what it means to be a light, 

except to say that this light, 

the light of Jesus equals love. 

And yet, 

when we say love, 

we have no way to adequately express 

              the full breadth of the word.  

What is love? 

What is light? 

I can't say entirely, 

but I can say 

when I see it, I know it  

When I see it, I'm drawn to it, 

         like a moth to a flame  

When I see it, my spirit is warmed by it 

         and it calls me by name, 

drawing me in 

When I see it, I long for it 

And when I touch it, 

    the flame is ignited in me 

and I become the light of the world

A vessel carrying something completely indescribable

A vessel carrying hope  

So why do the lights of Vegas shine brighter than me? than you? than us? 

Yes, of course, they are glass tubes filled with neon and argon, pumped full of electricity, artifically lit. Yes, they were delicately heated, bent and molded to be sculpted into lights that shine for ages, lights that radiate and draw their onlookers in. It is undeniable; the lights of Vegas they do their job.  And I can't help but wonder, if we too aren't delicately heated, bent and molded to be sculpted into lights that shine for ages. But that's just it, if the lights of Vegas shine brighter than The Original Light living in us, than maybe we haven't truly been heated, bent and molded by that Light.  

There is no clearer place in the world to see lights put on stand for everyone to see than Las Vegas.  In complete darkness there is no dark.  And the metaphor of light is lost to those who bear the name of The Original Light, standing on corners with signs joining the darkness and condemning the created light that has figured out how to shine brighter than The Original Light within them; as if the lights of Vegas have somehow wronged The Original Light and it's theirs to judge.  

These signs speak nothing into a world of complete darkness that contains no dark and perhaps are actually perceived as darkness themselves. The signs that stand in judgment are the bowl that hides the Light of the world contained within us. They are not shining a light into darkness; instead, they are submitting to the darkness as the shadow of the towering signs extinguishes the light that is within those holding them. 

We cannot control this Light, yet we often think we can.  We cannot do the work of heating and molding it, even though we try. We can only simply submit to the flame and let it shine in ways we never imagined.  The Original Light ignites in us a light that is meant to be a city on a hill, a beacon of hope and love that calls out to darkness and lives in the midst of darkness, lighting the world. 

We are meant to be the lights of Vegas.  

And we in our brokenness have dimmed the Light.  

Jesus forgive us. Lord, have mercy.    

Sacred Pants

“There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of the deepest messages of the Incarnation.” 

― Madeleine L'Engle

The other day a friend and I had to make a trip to Walmart.  We had been working on a project all day and needed one final thing to complete it.  We were a mess. I was wearing my "painting clothes." The whole way there we laughed at how thankfully we were going to Walmart and not the mall because at Walmart we'd fit right in.  I love to paint. I'm not Van Gogh or Monet, but I love to paint walls and houses and sometimes things a little more creative.  Years ago I started wearing the same clothes to paint - a pair of blue sweat pants and a light blue shirt.  Even though I am a very clean painter, the clothes are covered in paint.  Knowing that I wear these "painting clothes" whenever I paint, my friend said, "Your pants are like the Traveling Pants."

Have you ever seen "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"? Four lifelong friends have to spend their first summer apart. They go shopping and amazingly they find one pair of jeans that fits each of them perfectly, despite their varied body shapes and sizes.  The girls decide to have shared ownership and these pants spend the summer traveling between them, experiencing family turmoil, first love, tragic loss and lots of exploration.  In the midst of story is the magical element of these pants that saw so much of growing up and learning.

When my friend said, "Your pants are like the Traveling Pants?" It hit me for the first time that I had unintentionally created one of the most sacred items in my possession.

These pants were worn by my husband before I ever knew him, through boot camp, through his time on Active Duty and then through the first several years of our relationship until they no longer fit him or until I grabbed them one day that I wanted to paint a wall and needed something that I didn't care if I ruined.  They were his and they didn't really fit anymore, so that day over 10 years ago they became mine. My painting pants.  Painting pants that I'm sure already had such a deep story. They were pants that had already seen so much in his life.

I never intended for these pants to be anything more than a comfy pair of sweats that I could feel free to wipe my hands on, spill paint on and basically trash.  But the other day on the way to Walmart I was struck with the sacredness of what I was wearing.

You see, these pants have painted every home we have lived in during our nearly 20 years of marriage; two of which no longer are standing. They have painted the nurseries of our children when I was expecting. They have painted the rooms that we have invited people into over and over. These pants have painted the homes of my grandparents, parents and siblings.  Hours have been spent in these pants laughing, crying, and grieving because painting is therapeutic.  These pants have painted three different offices that I have inhabited, each with their own stories.  These pants have painted homeless shelters where they brought hope and new life to women who have been through so much.  These pants have painted the home of a dear friend who couldn't herself because of cancer.  These pants have painted the walls of my church as I have attempted to create sacred space for my community.  I guess in sense you could say, these pants have painted my life.

These pants have become sacred.  And when I look down, I see a rainbow of colors that each hold a sacred moment in my life.

I walked into Walmart that day holding my head high because I was clothed in the sacred and I wouldn't have it any other way.  These pants are sacred because love has been incarnated in every moment of their existence. My painting pants make their own rounds, never worn by others, but always presenting themselves in service to others.  They are my "traveling pants" that have seen so much. Like the pants in the movie, they've seen family turmoil, love, tragic loss and indeed, lots of exploration.  They have grown up with me and in them I have learned so much.